Here I will share our trials and tribulations of trying for our fourth precious baby.  I hope that by putting my thoughts and feelings down about another pregnancy after such a traumatic loss I will be able to help other women considering or experiencing subsequent pregnancies and high risk pregnancies to not feel so alone and isolated.  (Added 5/12/04)  At the time of starting this page back in November 2003 I had no idea how long it was going to take us to fall pregnant again.  Afterall I fell rather quickly with my previous pregnancies so I expected that things would be the same this time.  Well almost 12 months on and I am still not pregnant, so this page now follows the frustrating path of investigating our fertility options.

 November 2003 

We have begun considering our options for another baby.  I became very sick after having our daughters and am only now fully recovered physically.  The Saturday after our girls funeral we made a trip to the hospital to meet with my OB as I was feeling unwell and feverish.  I was given antibotics and told I probably have an infection from the placenta.  That night I became so ill my husband phoned the OB who advised that I double of doses of the antibiotics which should help me to improve by morning.  After a dreadful night of sweating, shivering and my husband monitoring me all night as well as caring for our sone I had indeed improved by morning. 

After a shower and some breakfast we went to visit some friends so Matt could have a play and to give me some fresh air.  While we were there I started to get a bit cold.  Within half an hour I was shivering so badly I couldn't speak, and could barely walk.  I was sitting in the sun with one of our friends jumpers on and I was still so cold.  We decided to leave, and by the time we got to the car I knew I needed to get to the doctors.  A friend of ours who had been at Paige and Amy's funeral was working a the medical centre so my husband phoned her to say we were on the way.  I was still shivering uncontrollably, even with the heater in the car on full and jumpers and plenty of clothes on.  I was shivering so much my arms and legs, infact my whole body started to ache.  I though maybe I was in shock.  When we arrived they collected me in a wheel chair and took me inside.  By now I was vomiting, had a temperature over 40 degrees (104) and was sneezing continuously without a break.  This had been caused by inadvertently wearing a jumper that had been in contact with cats.  I have a severe allergy to cats.  The severe shaking was called rigors.  Rigors are commonly associated with bacterial infection and are are characterized by violent, shaking chills, usually associated with rigidity. Our doctor phoned my OB and they agreed I needed to be admitted to hospital.

I stayed in hospital on two different intravenous antibiotics for about 5 days.  I had terrible pain on my right hand side down towards my hip, but the doctors thought this was related to the infection.  I came home on the Friday feeling much better except for the pain still on two oral antibiotics.  The following Saturday night I started to feel a bit off again.  By the morning I was sick again and running a high temperature.  The pain in my side had not improved at all, in fact I thought it was worse.  So off to the hospital we went again.  I was readmitted and put back onto the intravenous antibiotics.  I was having regular blood test and they were a bit confused by my pain.  The doctors were wondering whether I might have an unrelated appendicitis when they decided to send me down for at scan.  Finally we had the reason for the pain, I had a rare type of clot called an Ovarian vein thombosis on my right hand side.  This link has a really good description. http://http://www.rcsed.ac.uk/journal/vol46_4/4640015.htm 

I was put on heparin injections, gentamicin as well as the original medication.  This time I stayed in hospital for about 9 days.  I lost count of how many times I required canulisation after getting to 20.  I don't have great veins and with all the medications that were being pushed through the drips my veins kept acting up and the canula's would have to be removed and re inserted.  I got really sick again in hospital, my temperature went up, the rigors I had to stay on the injections until I stabalised and if I wanted to go home I needed to learn to do them myself.  After about 6 days I finally managed to give myself my first injection.  I had to do this two times per day.then started receiving The day after I was admitted they wer   

AMy husband and I have decided in consult

4/12/03 

My husband and I have decided in consultation with several specialists for me to have a procedure called a Transabdominal Cerclage (TAC).  This procedure is very rarely performed and I'm only the eighth person here in my state to have it done.  Here is a link if you'd like to read more about it :  http://www.cpdx.com/tac.html

 Jan 2004 

I have a really bulgly lower belly, maybe its just really loose stomach muscles from pregnancies and the surgery in December.  Had my six week post op check with my OB.  I forgot to mention the belly during the exam, and when I mentioned it while I was getting dressed he said it would settle down.

Feb 2004 

The trying to conceive (TTC) journey has begun.  Hopefully I will fall pregnant quickly like I did with Matt and the twins.

Mar 2004 

Well we are still TTC, no luck yet.  On one hand I am disappointed that I'm not pregnant but on the other hand I am so relieved that I not.  So much will change when I am pregnant, emotionally I will be totally scared, petrified and paranoid.  Physically I will have to stop exercising and doing things around the house and try to rest as much as possible.

Apr 2004

The belly bulge is no better, in fact I think its worse.  It hurst when I cough, feels awful if I get up to quickly and some of my clothes have gotten too tight.

I was talking to a friend about it and she said her sister said it might be a hernia.  As soon as she said hernia I knew thats what it was.  I couldn't believe I hadn't thought of it myself.  I'm no doctor by any means, but I'm very medically minded and I'm surprised that I didn't think of this myself.

Been to the GP and he has sent me for a scan.

Scan confirms a hernia.  The report is sent to my OB, however he thinks its far to small to be of any concern during a pregnancy and that he will look at fixing it during a future c section. 

I'm surprised he thinks this huge bulge in my belly is small.  Size wise its as big as my two fists together, maybe I'm just being a bit of a hypo!!

May 2004

 Took Matt for his 2 year pediatrician check up. As this is close to by original OB (Dr H) I usually take him up for a visit to him as well.  Dr H like many other Australilan OB's no longer practises obstetrics since the medical indemnity insurance crisis here.  This was devestating to me when I had been his patient for many years and then with the added rapport we had built after Matt's risky pregnancy and birth. 

Dr H says he will never forget Matt the little Easter baby after such a dramatic arrival.  Dr H asked if I was pregnant yet, when I told him I wasn't he asked if I wanted to come and see him.  I also mentioned my belly, so he said to bring the scan.

Saw Dr H.  He was rather concerned about the size of the hernia and asked if Dr C had seen me.  I said no he had only read the report.  Dr H read the report and discovered they had made a mistake in the report my recording the measurement for the hernia in millimetres instead of centimetres!! 

August 2004

 Home from the surgery to correct my hernia.  The surgeon did say the recovery would be more painful than my c-section and I should have listened.

I am now 1 week and 1 day post operation and the pain is still awful.  I'm not sure which is scary this recovery or the thought that we can now try to conceive again.

September 2004

The recovery from the hernia repair has definately been long and painful.  3 weeks along and my husband has gone to Germany for work, so its just Matt and I.  We have been planning most days to either visit with friends or have friends or my mum come and stay with us here so I can have a hand with Matt.  I'm no supposed to lift him for a minimum of 3 more weeks.

29 September 2004

I've seen my favourite doctor, Dr H today.  After a lengthy appointment and discussion we ahve decided I will have a laparoscopy next week.  He will look around inside of me for a few reasons.  Firstly as I have not fallen pregnant yet and we have been trying since January, bar two months for the hernia surgery.  Secondly my menstrual cycle last month was very suspicious and may have been an early miscarriage.  Thirdly to check on my tubes and the hernia repair.

4 October 2004

Today I had the laparoscopy at 9am, and came home at around 1.45pm.  Dr H says my insides are quite a mess (his words not mine) from previous surgeries.  Dr H said he couldn't get a good look as there are many lesions and adhesions amongst my organs etc and he could not get the laparoscope through to see anything.  He put the dye through my tubes and even though he couldn't see anything, he was able to see the dye flow out without any resistance. 

Dr H also checked my cervix where the abdominal cerclage is placed and its is closed to 7 mm, which he says is good.  As for my hernia he couldn't get a look at it.

8 November 2004

Today I saw Dr H again.  He still thinks things will happen on their own, meaning he doesn't think we need any reproductive assistance at this stage.  I'm keen for some intervention, but I guess we may as well wait until after Christmas now. 

Dr H wants me to go and see Dr C as he isn't doing any fertility assistance anymore.  Also he says Dr C is doing a fair bit of that sort of thing.  I phoned   Dr C's office and can't get in until January 2005. 

I also went and had a blood test to check my progesterone just to be sure I'm still ovulating.

9 November 2004

Dr H's receptionist phoned today to let me know that my progesterone level was good for ovulation at 55.  Of course my obsessive nature then had me on the internet checking progesterone levels during pregnancy to see if this number could indicate that we are expecting.  I remember my level was quite high when I had a test during my pregnancy with Matt (when I didn't know I was pregnant).  I also remember my level was quite low last time I had my progesterone checked and I wasn't pregnant that cycle.  So I'm trying not to get too caught up in it, and trying hard not to go and waste my money on a pregnancy test instead of just waiting to see if I'm late.  Even being this hopeful is scary.  

13 November 2004