30 November 2005

Tomorrow I have been taking DHEA for 6 weeks.  I really haven't noticed any real changes which worries me a little, maybe its not doing anything?  I'm still doing all the herbs, vitamins, supplements and acupuncture as well.  I'm also about to have some Reiki for the first time. 

27 October 2005

One week down taking DHEA.  I haven't noticed anything different as yet.  I did have one sleepless night, but I think that my be attributed to the power nap I had earlier that day.  Otherwise nothing to report as far as the DHEA goes.  I am really pleased that some of the ladies I chat to in the IVF support sites have managed to get their doctors to agree to them taking DHEA.  Also the doctor I'm seeing is really interested and has put some of his other patients onto DHEA.  He is giving me the accolades for having brought it to his attention and hopefully to the rescue for some of the poor responders out there.

20 October 2005

On and off over the course of this year I have been doing research into an experimental treatment using DHEA for women who like myself are poor responders to the IVF stimulating medications.  (Take a look at the IVF links and info tab here on this site to see what its all about).

Today is day one of taking DHEA.  As per recommendations from the Center for Human Reproduction I will be taking 50mg in the morning and 25 mg at night.  I will still continue to take vitex, DHA, cardiprin, a multi b, and elevit.  I'm also adding in Coenzyme Q10 .

19 October 2005

Negative home pregnancy test.  Confirmed later in the day with a negative beta (blood test).  I'm not feeling too bad, like I said I did my mourning last Friday.  Guess its onto the DHEA for me.   

15 October 2005

Last pregnyl injection.  I am really not feeling confident anymore.  I don't know why, its just like my mind and my heart are trying to prepare me.  I'm still having period like pains and yesterday I had a bit of a melt down, cause I just felt like I knew it was over.  Yesterday was my day of morning for this cycle.

12 October 2005

Acupuncture.  Having lots of symptoms which can be attributed to pregnancy, the medication or paranoia.

11 October 2005

At some times of the day I feel really positive then at others, I feel like we have failed already.  I am now 6 days post 2 day transfer or 8 days post ovulation (egg collection).  So far to early to know one way or the other.  Its not helping my mind any that I can feel some pain in my back like my period is just around the corner.

My second (first was 8/10/05) pregnyl injection tonight 1500iu.  Still taking all my other medications.  Have reduced the pessaries to one at night and added crinone morning and lunch.

5 October 2005

2 eggs transferred - 1x 4 cell and 1 x 2 cell.  Things are certainly done differently at this clinic.  I had a sedative before I left home, another when I arrived at the clinic and another after transfer.  I slept all afternoon when I finally got home.  After the transfer you are given a brandy and lemonade.  This is my sort of transfer...  After resting at the clinic for a while, I was off in a taxi to have acupuncture again.

4 Octoboer 2005

As well as my herbs and vitamins, I started having 4 x pessaries per day, 2 x prognova 3 times per day, 2 x provera 2 times per day and 1 cardiprin per day as per Dr's orders. 

2 eggs have fertilised with ICSI.

3 October 2005

Started off with acupuncture then went in for egg pick up, 4 eggs collected.

1 October 2005

Still continuing with everything, and doing trigger shot tonight.  Looks like we have 4 eggs.

28 September 2005

Day 9 scan still shows 4 follicles, but they are all a good size.  Go to acupuncture today.  Still taking all of the dreaded herbs and vitamins.

27 September 2005

Now adding .06iu of pregnyl to my injections.  This is instead of the expensive drug cetrotide.  Some of the DR's at this clinic believe a low dose of pregnyl does the same thing, except its a lot cheaper.

26 September 2005

Day 7 of my cycle.  Add orgalutrun to my FSH.  Scan shows only 4 follicles (drat).  Blood tests are till good.

21 September 2005

A new cycle begins with Dr A.  Today is day 2 and I have started taking 900iu of Gonal F.  The absolute maximum dose of FSH.  All is good for my scan and blood tests to continue.

16 September 2005

Our appointment with the new fertility specialist.  I was told in no uncertain terms that the reason I am not falling pregnant is because I have ovarian insufficiency.  We will call the Dr, Dr A.  Dr A told me my ovaries are behaving like that of a 43 year olds (no offence intended to any 43 years olds).  Dr A then raised the subject of Donar Eggs (DE) with us.  I burst into tears.  I felt like he was saying there was no hope for us.  I really do like Dr A, he shows a geniune unhappiness for the difficulty some people have in trying to concieve.  I really liked that about him, you could see it actually made him quite angry.  We discussed doing a cycle with him and DH and I have decided we will go ahead.

9 August 2005

Sorry for being missing in action for so long.  Thank you to the people who have emailed me to see what happened and why I haven't been updating my site.

Our IVF attempt in May was unsuccessful and I was very distressed and shocked.  I guess because I have successfully fallen pregnant naturally before I just thought that it was a given that our first IVF attempt would work.

Since then we had another IVF attempt in June/July and this too was unsuccessful.  I didn't take it as hard as the last one, but I also didn't tell many people.  I really struggled last time having to tell everyone it didn't work, so this time we just kept it to ourselves.  I have told people after the fact, but that is a lot easier to deal with.

For now I am having acupuncture and taking some really awful Chinese herbs.  When I fell pregnant in January of this year I was taking herbs from the Sharkey Clinic on the Gold Coast, so I'm still a little hopeful that this could work again for us.  The clinic I go to are referred by a reputable fertility clinic here in Brisbane so I feel good about who I am seeing.

At present I have acupuncture once a week and  am on a herbal mixture made up of Dong Quai, Paeonia, Bupleurum, Shatavari and Licorice.  In addition to taking this terrible tasting mixture I take vitamin e with selenium, DHA, a multi B, magnesium, cardiprin and elevit. 

We also have an appointment with another IVF specialist in September for a second opinion.  I love my current DR, but feel I need to see someone who is more involved in just IVF to see what they think. 

So that is were we are up to at the moment.  I can't promise I will keep updated during another IVF cycle if and when we do one, but I will update afterwards.

4 May 2005

Back home and trying to rest for the next 48 hours.  The procedure was a little more complicated than I expected.  On arrival they let me see the embryo's magnified on a monitor.  The OB (not my regular as he is away) did a scan to find the best place to put the embryo's.  Then they put in the speculum to gain access to the cervix.  He had some trouble finding my cervix.  Then they put one type of catheter in as a guide followed by test catheter which runs inside the other one to ensure they have an unobstructed route to follow.  They then take this one out and measure it on a ruler to somehow come up with some measurement which apparently helps with the placement.  The OB then calls the scientist who comes in with a loaded catheter which contains the embryo/s.  This catheter is slipped in and they use a syringe with liquid in it to flush them into the uterus.  The scientist then takes the catheter away to check under microscope that the catheter is empty. 

Well after my first go the catheter wasn't empty and my sticky little embryo's were still in there.  So off they went again.  This time when they checked the catheter they were both gone...  To think that when IVF first started they didn't check the catheter after the attempted transfer !!!!  

I then layed on the bed for around 15 minutes and then off home.

Now is the big wait to see if our little ones implant and stay with us.....  Like I said a very long two weeks ahead....  Please keep those prayers coming ..........

4 May 2005

It is now 11.15am and all is still ok, the transfer is going ahead at 1.15pm.  I'm very excited.  I've been very contained until now, but now I'm so nervous.  After this I will be in the longest two week wait of my life.....  Please say lots of prayers for us...........

3 May 2005

Todays phone call to the hospital was still good.  One egg again is 'perfect' has reached the morella stage which is the stage before blastocyst.  One is still a little behind and one is a fair bit behind.  So at this stage I am booked into the hospital tomorrow to have at least one transferred back.  I still have to phone again in the morning to see if all is still ok...

2 May 2005

My phone rang just before nine this morning and my heart skipped a beat, I thought it might be the hospital phoning with bad news.  Fortunately it was a good friend of mine phoning to see if we had any news.

I called the hospital when I finished my call and all 3 embryo's are still going.  They grade the embryos according to the number of cells they are.  Ours are 4 cells, 6 cells and 8 cells.  The nurse told me that 6 and 8 cells are perfect for day 3 but the four cell one is probably a little behind/immature.  So at this stage we have two good embryo's.  I started the progesterone supplement today in preparation of a possible transfer on Wednesday.  I will again phone the hospital to see how they are tomorrow.

30 April 2005

I phoned the hospital this morning as planned, boy was I nervous.  I barely slept a wink last night.  Three of our eggs have fertilised and become little embryo's.  I have to phone back on Monday morning to see how they are going.

29 April 2005

Well egg pick is done.  I am very sore right now, not sure why I'm in so much discomfort, obviously they poked around a little in there.  I didn't get to see the doctor, so maybe he did something additional with the remnant of the cyst or something...

My OB got 4 eggs (not sure if the 4th is mature enough though).  Now the waiting begins.  I am an absolute bundle of nerves and anticipation.  I can ring at 9 am tomorrow morning to see if any eggs fertilised with ICSI.  Last time I didn't even get to do this, they phoned me first to give me the bad news...  So I'm trying to just think ahead to the next step and not get to far ahead of myself.

26 April 2005

Had my scan. Still haven't got heaps of eggs. My OB wants to give me an extra couple of days of FSH injections to see if any additional eggs will grow to the right size before a pick up. This though creates a problem with timing, due to the public holiday this coming Monday.

22 April 2005

The scan went fairly well.  Suprisingly my cyst has collapsed so that is good, it can still be seen on the scan, but its not big and round anymore.  Even after this fully down regulated cycle I still only have 2 maybe 3 eggs ???  For some reason I don't stimulate well, but we are pushing on anyway as this seems to be about the best number I will get.  For the first time on the IVF the eggs are all on my right side (same side at the cyst).  My previous cycles the eggs have been on the left side.  

I go back for a scan on Tuesday to see if we can go ahead with an egg pick up.  So prayers please, and keep everything crossed for us please.

21 April 2005

I've now had 4 days of the FSH and tomorrow is the scan day.  I am hoping and praying that we receive good news and my follicles are continuing to grow and that there are a good number of them.  I will be keeping everything crossed until then and hoping.

18 April 2005

Went in for my scan today, and suprisingly had something unexpected turn up (attempt at humour there).  On my right ovary I have a 3cm cyst.  Apparently this is unusual (why doesn't that suprise me? ).  The choices were to abandon the cycle now and have it removed laproscopically, or to go ahead with the follicle stimulation and see what happens.  Apparently 1 of two things will happen.  Either the cyst will stay the same and the follicles will continue to grow (this would be good) or the cyst will increase in size and then we will have to abandon the cycle and remove the cyst. 

Dr C has put me on the maximum dose of FSH (follicle stimulating hormone - 450mg) and I go back Friday to see whats happening.

I am so disappointed.  This cycle has been 6 weeks in the planning to do the fully down regulated cycle and I was actually feeling quite hopeful.  This is our 3rd attempt and we still haven't gotten anywhere.

I'm starting to wonder if we will ever have another baby. 

16 April 2005

Our next cycle has begun and I'm due to see my OB on Monday 18 April at 7.15am for my first scan and to start the injections.  I have been taking the syneral for the last 4 weeks so I am onto the fully down regulated cycle.  I've also been taking vitamin B6 as I had read that it can help lengthen the luteal phase.  I don't know if its the B6 or the syneral but my cycle has been longer this month than it has for ages.  Who knows.

22 March 2005

We have decided to let our heads rule our heart and have a break this month.  My heart just wants to jump straight into another cycle and try try again.  My mind has weighed up all the pros and cons and knows its best to sit this cycle out.  Even so I am on the medication that stops the pituatary gland from working (stops the natural cycle of hormones) hoping that a fully down regulated  cycle will produce more eggs.  The nurse at the IVF clinic also told me that this can also help with the egg quality.  

So this is where we are right now.  I'm up and down emotionally, some days feeling very positive others feeling very negative.  It doesn't help when you open the newspaper and read about people trying to kill their children or turn the TV on and hear about people who abuse their children.  Why on earth are people like this able to have children and we can't.  I'm not saying we are super parents, but we love and cherish our son and we give him a safe and secure home.  All this and more we wish to give to another child as well... 

10 March 2005

9 March 2005 (11.30pm)

I am so emotionally exhausted I cannot get to sleep.  Thinking of our girls at the moment and knowing if they were here we would not be going through all of this.  The emotional energy and strength that IVF is costing us is more than I expected.  I just wonder why all of this has had to be.

Does God have a reason, or a master plan that doesn't want me to have more children.  Does he think I wouldn't cope?  That I wouldn't be a good mother to more than one child?  I know to people who have not experienced anything like this that I sound like a mad rambling woman.  But I expect that to people who have been through anything at all similar to us, that I sound quite normal.  And after all that is one of the sad reasons I have this website, so that others in similar circumstances can see that at least someone understands their feelings.

7 March 2005

Well we've ended up with 3 good follicles so I'm booked in for the egg pick up on Wednesday.  They take them out while I am under a general anesthetic and then mix them with sperm for fertilisation.  I will phone them at 11am the next day to see how they went.  Then hopefully the will be transferred back into my uterus on Friday.  Prayers and fingers crossed.

28 February 2005

Started the nose spray on Saturday (day 2), horrible stuff.  I walk around sniffing all day like I'm on drugs.. :)  This morning I had my first scan, there are maybe 3 to 4 follicles starting, so I am taking 400 mg of FSH in the hope we can get them all to mature.  I asked the OB about doing IVF if there are not enough mature follicles.  He said only if there are only if there are 2 or less mature.  If there are 3 or 4 and we decide not to go ahead with the retrival then we risk triplets or quads.  He said the only set of quads he has had was from a stimulated cycle were they abandoned the cycle and advised the couple not to have unprotected intercourse because there were 4 mature eggs.  The people didn't listen and later went on to deliver quads at 28 weeks.  All are well, but he won't risk it.  Which I guess if a fair answer.  Next appointment is Friday 4 March.

25 February 2005

Today my cycle has started again at only day 23.  This wouldn't normally be a problem but my husband will be away at the crucial part of the fertilisation.  Phoned the OB they said that will the expected retrival date of day 13 being the day my husband gets home from overseas its cutting it too fine, incase the date gets moved forward depending on the development and maturity of the follicles.  Being late Friday afternoon they said he could leave a 'deposit' on Monday for us to use in case he's not back.  Problem is he leaves on Sunday.  So they said we would have to miss this cycle.  I was like I don't think so, can't he come in tomorrow (Saturday)?  They were like oh, um, I don't know, we'll ring the scientists and see if they can take the sample.  So they phone be back a half an hour or so later and say yes we can do that.  Be here at 7.30 in the morning.  So yes that is done, so now if my husband is not here at the right time, we can still go ahead.  Sometimes we need to be a little assertive with our OB's...

14 February 2005

Another scan today (day 12).  Well not enough of the follicles have stimulated so this cycle will be abandoned.  My OB doesn't want to put me under general anesthetic to retrive just one or two eggs.  The aim is maybe 5 or more eggs so that some can be frozen for future cycles without having to do the whole retrival process everytime.  So I was given the HCG shot today which will make me release the egg that has matured and we will do what we normally do at this time of the month.  Next cycle the FSH (follicle stimulating hormone) will be doubled to 400 mg.  Here is a link to some of the IVF medications and their uses. 

http://ivf.wesley.com.au/index.cfm?MenuID=259&TopMenuID=234

7 February 2005

 I started the nose spray on Friday, this is to stop my body from doing whats natural with hormones and everything, so that I can be stimulated medically.  I had my first day of IVF injections today.  I actually gave myself my first injection so I should be fine for the next 3.  Its a walk in the park compared to the injections I gave myself for blood clots after the twins were born.  I had a scan and there were already some little follicles showing up, so lets hope they keep on going.  The only slightly disappointing information he gave me is that at this stage he only wants to implant 1 egg.  I'm keen for two, but he's very concerned about me having twins again, I'm secretly hoping, which I know is silly, but I can't help how I feel.   

3 February 2005

Well today is my husbands birthday and of course this is the day be have begun losing our little bean.  I was hoping it wouldn't be today.

1 February 2005

Yesterday my original OB Dr H ordered some blood tests.  Unfortunately they came back lower '8'.  This means we will probably lose our little one within a few days.

After the doctor phoned I was crying and my beautiful little Matt (almost 3) came up and said 'I sorry mummy' I told him he did nothing wrong so he gave me a hug and said 'no cry mummy it will be alright'.  What a beautiful little man, I thank God for him daily.

28 January 2005

My friend (also a GP) ordered a blood test and my HCG was only 12.  Not good, means I'm pregnant, but is a bit low.  I'll have another one next week to see what happens.  We are kind of excitied about the prospect of maybe not doing IVF, or at least spending the money.  I must admit though I was looking forward to the chance of twins with IVF. 

Here is a link which has the optimum HCG levels during early pregnancy.

http://www.ivfer.com/hcg.htm#HCG%20Levels%20in%20Early%20Pregnancy

27 January 2005

Shock of shocks we did a HPT today and it showed up with a faint positive.  I don't have a good feeling about this, it came up late and very faint.  Who knows what this means just as we are about to start IVF.

17 January 2005